American Dating Etiquette
American dating etiquette is no longer as simple as it once was. There is a conventional manner of conducting a date, usually involving the man be the one to initiate, control, and pay for the date, but this traditional protocol can be cast aside depending on the preferences of both parties. It is usually safe to err on the side of being too conventional, but with open communication, you can usually feel out the type of etiquette that should be used.
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Making the Date
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In an era after women's liberation, both men and women can do the asking when it comes to dating, however it is more conventional for a man to ask out the woman, according to DatingClass.com. It is usually polite to invite a date to an activity where you can get to know your date, such as a drink at a bar or dinner at a restaurant. Activities such as dancing, going to a concert, or the movies don't allow for much talking, so these should be paired with hors d'oeuvres and cocktails or a sit-down dinner. As far as who should decide on what to do, this is conventionally decided by the male, according to DatingClass.com, but when a woman asks out a man, it may be more appropriate for her to choose the activity.
Hygiene and Appearance
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According to a 2005 Survey in Elle Magazine and MSNBC.com, the biggest turn-off for both men and women was body odor. According to "How to Date in a Post-Dating World" by Diane Mapes, it's expected when you're on a date that you take care to adhere to the basic hygiene standards -- having showered, applied deodorant, shaved, brushed your teeth and combed your hair. Your appearance should be neat and appropriate for the occasion; for a casual night at the movies, you should still dress neatly, and for a wedding or other formal function, formalwear is a must.
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The Date
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Every date is unique, depending on where the date is and the individuals on the date. The important factor on an American date is communication. Both parties should get to know each other, find out what each prefers, what they're looking for in a relationship (if they even want one) and how serious they want to date (what their background is). This is the basis for establishing affinity and chemistry and is vital for the end part of the date when it comes to getting physical.
According to AmericanChronicle.com, traditional manners, such as a man holding the door open for a woman or paying for the date, should be generally practiced. However, with open communication, both parties on the date can indicate to each other whether they think these should be practiced. Conventional American table manners should always be practiced.
Getting Physical
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A man shouldn't assume that a woman will want to have any physical contact with him unless she has made clear signs. He should begin by trying to hold her hand or lightly touching her in non-erogenous zones and see how she responds. A man shouldn't invite himself in to a woman's house at the end of the date, but wait for an invitation from her. Mapes says the first kiss should be taken slowly, while reading the signs of one's date, rather than coming on too strong.
Ending the Date
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In the case that the woman (or perhaps even the man) isn't interested in getting physical, a kiss or a hug at the doorstep is usually customary. This is the appropriate time to schedule the next date or to indicate whether one wants there to be another date (usually by saying, "I'd like to call you," or "You should give me a call.")
Usually how quickly the parties contact each other after the date is an indication of how much they enjoyed the date or each other. If a date calls the very next day, this is usually a sign that one is very "in" to the other, and if a date waits several days or longer, this is usually an indication that one is more interested in a casual or non-exclusive relationship.
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References
- Photo Credit happy couple image by Mat Hayward from Fotolia.com
