Annulment & Grief

Annulment parties often experience feelings of guilt, shame and embarrassment.

According to Expert Law.com, a marriage is ended by way of annulment when a couple assert that the marriage was invalid due to incapacitation, coercion or deceit. Because a marital annulment signifies that a valid marriage never even existed, it can be emotionally and mentally devastating, resulting in typical stages of grief such as denial, isolation, anger, depression and, finally, acceptance.

Denial

Parties to an annulment may initially deny that a loss has taken place. It can be shocking and difficult to accept that a marriage has been deemed null and void. Many attempt to go on with life's normal day-day activities as if nothing has happened. However, the grieving person may have trouble adjusting to life without the involvement of the former spouse.

Isolation

Those who have experienced an annulment may temporarily withdraw from social contacts, friends and family due to a fear of being judged or criticized for their marital failure. In addition, feelings of guilt, shame or embarrassment may drive the person to retreat in isolation as a defense against being vulnerable and exposed.

Anger

A person grieving the loss of a relationship may express anger toward himself or the person he perceives to have caused the hurt. This stage can be especially difficult if the grieving person did not want the annulment or had an expectation that things would work out differently.

Depression

Annulment parties often experience loss of interest, changes in appetite, sleep disturbance, tearfulness and mood instability following an annulment. According to author and psychologist Laura Berk, these are all symptoms of depression that may be resolved with the ongoing help and guidance of a professional counselor or therapist.

Acceptance

A party to an annulment eventually comes to accept that the marriage was not valid and that life must go on. At this stage, the grieving person is usually able to forgive herself and others, release feelings of guilt, shame and fear, and go on to discover a rewarding and fulfilling life after annulment. However, the length of time it takes to achieve acceptance is unique to each individual.

References

• Expert Law.com
• "Development Through the Lifespan"; Laura E. Berk, Ph.D; 2001