Family Name Etiquette

Family name etiquette changes with the region and culture.

Family name etiquette is as complex and varying as the people and regions the names are from. Surnames denote a sense of identity, belonging and history. A country or part of the world can have distinct family name etiquette, especially in places where there are a variety of cultures and heritages.

North America

In North America, the tradition is that the wife carries the surname of the husband. Oftentimes, the woman's maiden name is left as a middle name or is hyphenated with the husband's last name.

For example, Jane Smith who marries John White, may become Jane Smith-White.

It is becoming increasingly popular, however, for women to retain their last names without the addition of their husband's surname.

Latin America

According to Sue Fox, author of "Business Etiquette for Dummies," in Latin America surnames are composed of both the paternal name and the maternal name. However, unlike western traditions that often keep the maternal surname (as a middle name or hyphenated) the paternal surname is placed before the maternal surname.

For example, Mexican actor and director Gael Garcia Bernal's father's surname is Garcia and his mother's surname is Bernal.

Note that in Brazil, the placing of the names is opposite due to Brazil's Portuguese heritage.

Africa

In North Africa, names are Arabic in influence, according to Dean Allen Foster, author of "The Global Etiquette Guide to Africa and the Middle East." Foster writes that most people have several names and follow a similar order to that of western names.

It is more complicated than most western names, however. "Other names used may refer to one's role in the family (such as son) or an honorary association with an important or meaningful person," Foster writes. Despite the importance placed on the other names, Arabs should be addressed by their first names, because it is their only true name.

An example Foster provides is Fatima bint Mubarrak, where "bint" meants "daughter of." So in Arabic this name would be Fatima, daughter of Mubarrak.

Asia

In China, the last name is stated first followed by the given name, according to Joyce Millet of Cultural Savvy, a global and cultural consulting and coaching company. Millet instructs that a person should never call someone by only his last name and never his first name unless asked.

According to Millet, married Chinese women often use their maiden names, but indicate marital status with Mrs. and westernized Chinese men and women may adopt a western first name.

An example of this is Liu Jianguo changed to David Liu.

New Trends

A growing trend with family names is abandoning them all together. At least the old version. More and more couples are opting to change both the bride and the groom's surnames. Couples essentially create their own family name.

According to journalist Sarah Baxter of "The Sunday Times," in America newlyweds are "meshing their names in an attempt to banish the sexism that comes when a woman takes her husband's surname." But is the reason for the change always political?

Often, brides simply do not want to lose a sense of identity but still want to have a common tie with their husband, so merging both last names has become an easy way to create a new one. Meshing produces "one surname that encapsulates the family heritage of both without diminishing the status of either," according to journalist Chloe Rhodes of the "UK Telegraph."

Instead of "meshing" surnames, some couples opt to create a completely new one altogether. And yet another option has been for the husband to take the wife's surname, a trend that is not as popular, but exists.

However, Rhodes explains that these trends are still just that, trends. According to a recent survey by Conde Nast, 83 percent of 20-something first-time brides will still take their husband's last name.

References

• "Business Etiquette for Dummies"; Sue Fox; 2008
• "The Global Etiquette Guide to Africa and the Middle East"; Dean Foster; 2002
• Protocol Professionals: Chinese Etiquette Protocol
• "The Sunday Times"; Couples Find New Names For Marriage; Sarah Baxter; 2006
• "Telegraph"; Why I Didn't Want to 'Mesh' With My Husband; Chloe Rhodes; 2006