Verbal Communication With Children
Perhaps one of the most valuable components of a parent-child relationship, verbal communication with children guides your children to behave the way you want them to behave. Effective verbal communication with children can be most effective when it is honest, respectful, and understanding. Being a good listener and having patience are necessary skills needed to promote productive verbal communication with children.
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Significance
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Communication can either be verbal or non-verbal. Body language and facial expressions fall into the non-verbal communication category, and talking makes up verbal communication. Generally, positive communication results in a positive response, while communicating negative things causes negative reactions. Children, especially, pick up on any positive or negative meanings and react accordingly. Positive verbal communication encourages children to have a favorable outlook on life.
Function
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As adults, the words we choose to say greatly influence our children and their behaviors. Effective verbal communication builds trust and encourages children to speak their minds. Productive verbal communication establishes relationships by being an active process that includes questioning, listening, answering, and comprehending. Being honest and respectful in verbal communication aids the development of a rapport between parent and child, allowing children to maintain relationships with others.
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Skills
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The most basic of verbal communication skills is listening, and unfortunately not all parents listen closely to their children all of the time because they are more concerned with telling their children what to do. Take the time to fully listen to your child, and ask relevant questions so that your child understands that you are indeed listening to what he has to say. Be genuinely interested in what your child is saying by seeing things from his point of view and participating actively in the discussion. Encourage your child to talk by asking him questions and helping him with using the right words. Don't interrupt your child - allow him to express himself fully.
Suggestions
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Verbal communication with children can be strengthened by giving children choices and making the choices clear. Parenting author Michael Henniger says "many times, choices are appropriate and useful to children in developing independence and decision-making skills." Other suggestions for effective verbal communication with children include getting down on your child's level so he can see you eye-to-eye, placing the action part at the beginning of your statement, giving instructions when and where you want them to happen, and keeping directions positive by telling your child what to do - not what not to do.
Considerations
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You should always keep in mind that verbal communication is a two-way street by remembering the importance of being a good listener. Effective listening allows your child to feel valued and respected. Realize that your attitude and behavior affect your child's perception and never hesitate to give your child lots of praise and encouragement. "Every Child Matters: Effective Communication with Children, Young People, and Families" suggests "you should always communicate with them appropriately to match the stage of development, personal circumstances, and needs of the person you're talking to."
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References
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- Photo Credit Mother and daughter talking image by Courtney Keating from Fotolia.com
