Etiquette for a Condolence Thank You Note
When a loved one passes away, it's a difficult time for friends and family members. Proper etiquette may be the furthest thing from your mind. However, it's important to thank those who express their sympathy or provide comfort in your time of need. There are a number of things to keep in mind when writing condolence thank you notes.
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Function
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According to The Emily Post Institute, "The important thing is that you have received comfort from the many who have helped you." Therefore, it is necessary to express your thanks. The message does not need to be detailed; the purpose is basically to acknowledge the condolence and let the person know you received their message, support or gift.
Features
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The Emily Post Institute states that the condolence thank you note should be handwritten. The exceptions to this etiquette rule, according to the Institute, are "when the expression of condolence is simply a printed form with no personal message, or when the writer asks that his or her note not be acknowledged (a thoughtful thing to do when writing a close friend, or when someone you know well will receive a great number of condolences)."
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Length
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According to etiquette consultant Jill Evans Kryston, "A thank-you note does not need to be long. A couple of sentences are all that is necessary on fold-over stationery. Even a pre-printed card should contain at least one sentence to personally express your gratitude." She goes on to say that it's best to be specific when thanking someone for their gift, but if it was a financial gift, do not mention the amount. It's sufficient to thank the person for the gift and tell them how the money was spent (for example, you can mention specific costs such as catering or flowers).
Recipients
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When sending thank you cards, you should make sure to include the following people: "clergy, pallbearers, ushers, drivers in the funeral procession, those who brought food or provided babysitting, those who sent flowers, gifts, mass cards or made donations in the deceased's memory, people who sent long letters, pictures or videos, guests who spoke at the service and any other acts of kindness," according to etiquette consultant Jill Evans Kryston. However, it is not necessary to send a thank you note to all those who attended calling hours for the deceased.
Time Frame
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It is important to remember that writing and sending the condolence thank you notes is the most important thing, not the time frame, and there is no official time frame for writing these sorts of notes. For some, writing the thank you notes can be a therapeutic exercise and help them through their grief. Other people may be too upset to write thank you notes right away. The Emily Post Institute says, "Another option is to ask a close relative or friend to write some notes on your behalf."
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References
- Photo Credit cemetary 3 image by sonya etchison from Fotolia.com
