Information on Dating and Teen Violence
According to the Alabama Coalition Against Domestic Violence, one in three teenagers experience violence in a dating relationship. Teenagers are at an age when the opinions of their peers have a big influence on their behavior, and as a result, many teenagers are reluctant to admit being battered to their parents or even to their friends. Dating violence crosses all racial and social boundaries.
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Male Stereotypes
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Cultural stereotypes favor young men with an attitude. The Alabama Coalition Against Domestic Violence identifies several stereotypes that negatively impact young men in dating relationships where neither the boy nor the girl have a lot of relationship experience. "Masculinity" is frequently portrayed as physical aggressiveness on television and movies. It has become a cultural adage that "bad boys" get the girl and "nice guys" finish last. Both peer pressure and raging hormones may make boys believe that they are expected to demand sex or other forms of an intimate relationship with girls they date. Family Health International states that cultural expectations for young men to lose their virginity early lead to dangerous behavior both for young men and for the girls they date.
Female Stereotypes
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Stereotypes can make teenage girls feel responsible for their boyfriend's actions. According to the U.S. Department of Justice, between 1998 and 2002, 86 percent of the victims of dating violence were young women. A young woman experiencing a new dating relationship may feel needed when her boyfriend is jealous of her time and of anyone she speaks to. Stereotypes of proper behavior for women are less rigid than in the 1950s, but the idea linking being feminine to being nurturing, submissive and passive still lingers. While none of these is a bad trait, a girl who takes it too far may feel responsible for her boyfriend's violence toward her or believe that she can change him.
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Warning Signs for Teenagers
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There are many signs to help warn teenagers that their relationships have the potential to turn violent. Some of the warning signs of potential abuse are obvious. Hitting, pushing or slapping are all forms of physical abuse that indicate that the relationship is not healthy and could get worse. Alcohol or drug use is a more subtle clue. According to the U.S. Department of Justice, more than 50 percent of the people incarcerated for committing acts of violence were using either illegal drugs or alcohol at the time of the incident.
Warning Signs for Parents
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Parents need to understand that even though their teenage children assert more independence at this age than when they were younger, they are still children who need guidance and support. Parents of children in dating relationships should be aware of unexplained injuries, changes in school performance and social behavior, and signs of drug and alcohol use. According to Parents for Parents, other warning signs include a date that shows up at the residence unannounced or who tell his date what clothes to wear.
Where to Get Help
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People are available to help teenagers in abusive relationships. The statistics concerning teen dating and violence are scary, but help is available. The National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline provides both a website with helpful information for teenagers in an abusive relationship and a telephone number, 1-866-331-9474, teenagers can call to speak with someone who will give help and advice for teenagers who don't know where else to turn.
If a boyfriend or girlfriend is threatening abuse or has been abusive, tell someone immediately. No one deserves to be abused, physically or emotionally.
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References
Resources
- Photo Credit teenager head shot image by jimcox40 from Fotolia.com male image by Oliver Lehermaier from Fotolia.com Victim suffering image by Gleb Semenjuk from Fotolia.com customer support image by 26kot from Fotolia.com
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