Trial Separation & Divorce
When couples first get married they never imagine divorce or a trial separation could be in the future. Sadly, divorce or trial separations become part of almost half of the marriages in America. In 2009, the National Center for Health Statistics reported the divorce rate as 3.7 per 1,000 people, with the marriage rate listed as 7.4. The causes range from infidelity, financial troubles, or abuse to lack of love, commitment or passion.
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Causes
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Although every couple is different, some of the same reasons for divorce or trial separation are common. In some cases, adultery, abuse and financial problems damage the relationship so far beyond repair that the couple calls it quits. But other causes of divorce or trial separations involve the failure of expectations, or when illusions of marriage do not coincide with reality. Lack of communication, lack of commitment and most of all failure to compromise can negatively impact a marriage and may lead to divorce or trial separation.
Cost
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The cost of divorce depends upon a couple's financial situation, length of marriage and number of children. Simple divorces for individuals with no children who have been married two years or less can handle the procedures online for as little as $29 through websites such as NoFaultDivorceForms.com. But for couples who have been married longer or who have kids the costs increase. According to an article on ABCNews.com entitled "How to Beat the High Cost of Divorce," published in July 2007, family law attorneys in major cities such as Boston charge $600 per hour. The article lists the possibility of an intense custody battle costing anywhere from $75,000 to $100,000.
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Children
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At any age, a parent's divorce impacts a child's life. According to the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP), children often feel that they contributed to the cause of the divorce. It states that younger children may become aggressive, defiant or isolated. Some may fall into depression over the loss, and academic performance may suffer. The AACAP also believes that kids may suffer from self-esteem issues because of the divorce, therefore affecting romantic relationships as they get older. However with counseling and an open line of communication with parents, these issues can be addressed quickly so that the children can adjust after the transition. In addition, for some families, divorce may be the only answer in providing a healthy living environment. It may reduce the amount of violence, conflict or tension in the home and allow for a more peaceful upbringing.
Therapy
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Marriage therapy or retreats are an option for some couples going through a trial separation. These couples often agree to separate for a short period of time in order to gauge whether or not divorce is the answer. They experience the emotional and financial impact of being apart. During this time they may consider going to counseling to try to reconcile. An informal separation involves coming to an agreement regarding living arrangements, property division and child custody/visitation.
Second Marriages
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Individuals marrying for a second or third time have a greater chance divorcing when compared to couples being married for the first time. According to a U.S. Census Bureau Report published in February of 2002, both men and women in their second marriages were less likely to reach their 10th anniversary than couples in their first.
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References
- Photo Credit marriage defined image by Christopher Walker from Fotolia.com
