Good Manners & Etiquette for Teens

Following the rules of etiquette and learning good manners are a must for today's teens. In order to receive respect from others and prepare for the future, teens have to act in a way that shows they care about others. Teens learn about manners from the example set by parents and teachers. Some may also attend courses or read books on the subject.

Etiquette vs. Manners

According to the Encarta dictionary, etiquette provides the rules of polite behavior in society. Manners are the way a person behaves in social situations, in accordance with customs and practices of a particular society or period of time. These rules can vary from group to group. If you arrive a half hour after the appointed time to join your friends at a party, you may be considered "fashionably late." Arriving a half hour late to a business meeting will mark you as having poor manners or worse.

The Importance of Good Manners

For teenagers increasingly faced with new situations, manners can be a road map in uncharted territory. Just as people may judge you by the way you dress, people may view your manners as an indication of your background and social skills. Behaving with good manners becomes important in social situations as well as in the workplace. Taken to the extreme, a lack of good manners can lead to violence. Think of people who freely express their "road rage" in an impolite or dangerous way, instead of using good manners and treating another person with decency.

Start Early

Teenagers who have been taught good manners at home from an early age will find it easier to comply with rules of etiquette as they emerge as unsupervised individuals out in the world. A good place for parents to start is with table manners. Parents must realize that their offspring may not know the rules, and that can lead to embarrassment, which in turn can lead to anger or confrontation. When teenagers know the rules-- napkin on the lap, no reaching across the table, dinner conversation should be polite, criticism of the meal at the table is unacceptable--they can choose to conform to the rules and be considered mature and thoughtful. Teaching by example is effective, especially in the early years.

Courses and Books for Teenagers

Sometimes teenagers are more likely to listen and learn good manners from a professional teacher in a group setting with other teenagers. These classes prepare teens for the challenges and opportunities they will face as they become young adults. Courses cover such topics as remembering people's names, eye contact and handshakes, making conversation and paying attention to body language. The book "Teen Manners" from the Emily Post Institute delves into issues that help teens form and keep relationships. Topics include dating and how to say "no" and remain friends.

Contemporary Issues

The rules of etiquette and manners are changing all the time to keep up with today's world and its technological advances. Social networking, texting, cell phone use and portable media players have changed the world, and teenagers are in the forefront of this new world. For example, teens must be given guidelines about cell phone use at the dinner table or in class and instructed in the polite way to voice an opinion on a social networking site. In the end, manners are about empathizing with others and treating them with the same respect we expect for ourselves.

References

• Emily Post Institute: "Teen Manners"
• The Etiquette Institute: Etiquette 101
• By Parents for Parents: Whatever Happened to Manners
• Encarta: Etiquette