How Does the Amish Culture Deal With Death & Grieving?
The Amish way of life focuses on simplicity, humility and connection to God; their funeral and grieving processes reflect this belief system. The Amish believe that when a person dies they have left the physical world to be in the afterlife with God. Instead of focusing on the physical loss of a good or faithful individual, Amish funerals focus on praising God and reminding parishioners to prepare for their afterlife.
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The Body
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Bodies are embalmed only if the state government legally mandates it. If it is mandatory, then a local funeral home washes, embalms and dresses the body in long, white underwear before returning it to the family. If it is not mandatory, then the community members help to wash and prepare the body for the service. Meanwhile, family members sew new, plain clothing for body to be buried in; they dress men in white pants, a white vest, and a white shirt, while the women are dressed in a new, long white dresses and the cap and apron in which she was married.
Preparation for Services
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An Amish individual is buried three days after death. During these three days the community members prepare the body, hand dig the grave, build the coffin, sit with the body and help prepare food for the family. The coffins must be handmade with plain pine, with no padding, handles or adornment. While the whole community helps, four friends are selected as pallbearers who take on the bulk of the responsibility. These pallbearers are responsible for preparing the room that the coffin stays in, aiding with the grave, and preparing for the transportation of the coffin and body. Note: if the deceased was single then the pallbearers must also be single, if he was married then they must also be married.
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Viewing Body
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Amish mourning services are composed of three services: first an open casket viewing at the decedent's home, then a funeral service in a community space, and finally the interment at the gravesite. After the body is washed and clothed, it is set up for an open casket viewing in the deceased persons home. The viewing room is completely bare, the family and pallbearers remove all furniture and decorations to accommodate a viewers. After the Amish wake, the pallbearers carry the casket to a horse-drawn hearse so that it can be taken to the funeral.
Funeral Service
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The community members all attend the funeral, which takes place in the deceased's house, a large community barn or a formal church if the community has one. All of the mourners and family members must wear black to the funeral. Unlike many Christian faiths, the Amish funeral service focuses on praising God and giving thanks, however, there are no eulogies for the community member who passed away. Traditionally, the sermon focuses on Genesis, John 5:20-30, I Corinthians 15, and parables about resurrection and the afterlife. At the end of the two-hour service, the minister mentions the decedent's name, date of birth and date of death before leading the parishioners to the grave.
At Grave
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Unlike many non-Amish funerals, there are no flowers, no photos and no gifts laid on the coffin before it is buried. Community members have one last opportunity to view the body in the cemetery before it is interred. Mourners recite the Lord's Prayer quietly to themselves or silently in their heads while the coffin is lowered into the ground with ropes. Family members and pallbearers lower the coffin into the ground together and then fill in the plot by hand. Adult graves are marked by simple, uniform tombstones that state only the name, dates of birth and death, and final age in years, months and days. If children's graves are marked at all, then it is done with a flat tombstone on the ground. Elders are responsible for keeping a map that identifies which body is in each grave.
After Funeral
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Once the body is completely buried, the community members go back to have a meal with the decedent's family. For the next year, friends, family and some community members will visit the family every Sunday. The immediate family wears only black for an entire year. This is the only outward indication that the family is in mourning; they are required to keep their grief and emotions private.
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References
- Photo Credit amish travel image by Pix by Marti from Fotolia.com
