Thank-you Etiquette for Gifts From New Neighbors

A thank-you gift is sometimes more appropriate than a thank-you note.

Receiving a gift is always nice, but knowing how to appropriately express thanks can be difficult, especially if the recipient and the giver are not well acquainted, or have not been acquainted very long. The proper way to show appreciation depends on the value of the gift and the reason it was given.

Small Gift

A friendly chat can be a lovely gesture of thanks for a small, inexpensive gift.

According to "Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior," if a new neighbor drops by with a small token of friendship, such as flowers, all that is required is a sincere thank you and a genuine smile. Inviting the neighbor inside for a cup of tea and a chat is a nice gesture that implies the desire to get to know her better, and possibly begin a lasting relationship. If she drops off a plate of cookies, it is polite to fill her plate with your own homemade specialty before returning it.

Moderate Gift

When given wine, it is thoughtful to invite the giver to share it.

When the new neighbor brings over a gift in the $20 to $50 range, it is good manners to invite her and her husband for lunch or dinner during the upcoming weekend. For example, if she brought over a nice bottle of wine, suggest that you get together on Friday evening, and save the wine to drink at the dinner. If she had you over for dinner, a return invitation is considered polite.

Expensive Gift

An expensive random gift requires a thank-you note and a return gesture.

If a new neighbor blesses you with an expensive, thoughtful gift, all of the above applies, and more. An effusive thank you and a hug are a good beginning, but should be followed with a formal thank-you note mailed to her home, and a dinner invitation to your home. If the gift is something for the home, it should be proudly displayed when the neighbors come to visit. Offer to let her borrow it any time she would like to. Remember, if a neighbor spends a good deal of money to buy you a gift, she likes you very much indeed. Expensive gifts imply an intimate friendship, so let her know how much you appreciate her, not just the gift itself.

Favors

Sometimes a small gift and a return favor are appropriate.

Favors should be returned in kind, and some favors require a small token of appreciation as well, according to "The Little Pink Book of Etiquette." If the neighbor takes in your mail while you are away, offer to do the same for her. If she feeds your cats while you're away, pick her up a small souvenir from wherever you went, and offer to feed her cats next time she goes away. If she feeds and walks your dogs, waters the plants, and skims the pool while you're away, buy her a nice souvenir from wherever you went, maybe a local specialty craft, and offer to return the favor during her next vacation.

Occasions

A thank-you gift is not necessary for a birthday gift, but a thank-you note is.

If a new neighbor gives you a gift for your birthday, a thank-you note is all that is necessary. If the gift is for a gift-giving holiday, she should receive a gift of similar value from you, and no thank-you note is necessary.

References

• Miss Manners Guide to Excrutiatingly Correct Behavior
• Little Pink Book of Etiquette