The Etiquette for Presents at a Second Wedding

Gifts are acceptable at a second wedding

Second weddings should be every bit as happy and special for the couple as any other wedding, although you'll need to make some decisions about whether you want to stick with traditional etiquette or do things your own way. Remember--it's your wedding.

Tradition

Traditionally, it's fine to accept gifts at a second wedding. But etiquette says that friends and family members who gave you gifts the first time around aren't required to do so again. However, that doesn't mean you have to send back gifts from people who were there for you the first time. If someone wants to celebrate your wedding by giving you a gift, accept it.

Registry

Go ahead and register for your second wedding. While people who gave you gifts at your first wedding may opt against buying you something else, you likely have many new friends and soon-to-be family members whom you didn't know the first time. It's wise to register for your wedding presents so that they have some guidance when choosing what to purchase.

Showers

Showers are always optional, and some people decide against having them for second weddings. But there's no real reason you shouldn't. Just as with a first wedding, only people invited to the wedding should be invited to a bridal shower. The exception for this is if your place of employment, club or school is throwing you a shower. You aren't expected to invite all of those people to the wedding. Feel free to invite friends and family who attended your first wedding and bridal shower, but they aren't required to bring a gift.

Types of Gifts

Because this is your second wedding, it's likely you don't need another blender, microwave or set of mixing bowls. So think about registering for lifestyle-type gifts and having theme showers. For example, you could have a stock-the-bar party and everyone could bring a bottle of wine or liquor. Or you could register for DVDs, cookbooks or gift cards. And it's always a good idea to request that gifts be made to your favorite charity.

Warning

While there is absolutely nothing wrong with registering for gifts, having showers and accepting presents for your second wedding, some may disagree. Be prepared for snooty looks or comments from some who may think gifts at a second wedding are inappropriate. Hold your head high and accept gifts from the cheerful givers. Ignore comments from those who don't want to give and enjoy your big day.

References

• I Do! Take Two: Second Wedding Etiquette Advice and Help for Second Marriages
• WedNet: Wedding Gifts Etiquette