Sympathy Card Etiquette and Money

Sympathy cards soothe loved ones' grief.

Sympathy cards serve important purposes during times of loss and grief. Cards expressing condolences for a grieving person express sentiments that loved ones find hard to say. Select sympathy cards with images that help convey your care. Add your personal touch to the card you send. Though etiquette supports sending sympathy cards, never send money with your card. Your sympathy, concern, thoughts and prayers suffice in a person's time of grief.

Timing

When someone dies, loved ones generally send sympathy cards immediately. According to SimpleSympathy.com, sympathy card etiquette suggests sending a sympathy card within two weeks of the person's loss. This suggestion need not be a rigid rule of etiquette. Because grief can continue for months or longer, you may send a sympathy card months or a year after a death. Your sentiments acknowledge the person's grieving process and your continuing care for her.

Verbiage

Opt for simplicity when selecting a sympathy card.

Though you can never fully comprehend another person's pain, you can take the time to use great care with the phrasing of the card and your note. Avoid cards with trite sympathies implying that you know how the person feels. If you and the grieving person are religious, send a card with religious tones. Sign the card with a brief line. You might write, for example, "My heart breaks for your loss. My prayers are with you." Your elegant and brief signature serves as a lasting testament to your support when someone you love needed it the most. You can leave a reminder that you are available for any need the person may have.

Designs

Grief can feel like an ocean of loneliness.

Sympathy card designs should be simple and elegant. If you choose to send a card with religious sentiments, the Christian cross or a dove in flight sends a spiritual message of hope in a dark time. You may want a card design that incorporates a traditional funeral flower image, such as calla lilies. Secular sympathy cards may include sunset images or simply the word "Sympathy" in embossed cursive font.

Benefits

When people grieve, they carry a heavy weight of sorrow.

Sending a sympathy card allows you to extend your love and support in a lasting way. As the bereaved continues through grief's inevitable process, your card and cards from others may be a source of consolation. A paper card gives the person something tangible to turn to for support in dark times. You are strong with love when the grieving person feels weak. Your support is priceless. Sympathy cards can become elements in a book of memories that the person may feel called to create at a later time.

Sending Money

After the funeral, sympathy cards remind mourners of support and love.

When you send a sympathy card, you send a message that you care and have the person in your thoughts. If you send the person money in a sympathy card, you send a different message altogether. According to SimpleSympathy.com, a grieving person can be offended if you send money. When you send money, you imply that the person's grief can be eased by material things. If you want to help in a physical way, arrange a cleaning or meal delivery schedule with friends and family of the grieving person.

References

• Simple Sympathy: Sympathy Card Etiquette
• Comfort & Grace: Words of Sympathy

Resources

• The Gallery Collection: Sympathy Cards