Family Planning Goals

Deciding to start a family is a huge milestone for any couple, and doing some basic family planning and goal setting is a crucial part of this step. Setting goals will help facilitate healthy communication between you and your spouse and ensure you are both happy with your decisions. Remember that goals are changeable, so if either of you ever feels differently about something, you can sit down and reevaluate your family-planning goals once again.

Should You Have Children?

Some people want to have children, while others feel they would be happier without the responsibility. Sit down with your spouse and ask him how he feels; be sure to let him know how you feel as well. If one of you wants children and the other one does not, one of your family-planning goals might be to come to a resolution on that conflict. If you have trouble working through your differences on your own, make an appointment with a family therapist to get some help reaching an agreement.

When Should You Have Children?

If both you and your spouse want to have children, you will need to decide when the time is right. Some couples feel that there is never a convenient time to have a child, so they begin trying right away, trusting that things will work out. Some begin trying right away because they do not believe in birth control and feel that they would be blocking a blessing by trying to prevent a pregnancy. Other couples want to make sure that they accomplish certain goals, such as finishing college or having a certain amount of money set aside, before having children.

You should also talk about whether you want one of you to be able to stay home with the kids and plan accordingly. Given your current circumstances and beliefs, you and your partner should set a goal in relationship to when you want to start trying. You might decide to start trying now, next month or when you have $10,000 in the bank. Whatever it is, be clear about it.

How Many Children Should You Have?

It is common for couples to change their minds about how many children they want as they expand their families. Some couples want only one child, but after they have their first baby, they decide they want more. Other couples want 10 kids, but after their first child, they might decide they'd be happier with three.

The key is to set goals regarding how how often you will check in with each other about how many children you want. You could agree to talk about it once a month, once a year on your anniversary or two months after the birth of each child. Whatever agreement you come to, be sure to stick to it and make it known that either of you can bring the subject up at another time if necessary.

What Kind of Pregnancy and Birth?

Once you become pregnant, you and your spouse will have the task of deciding what kind of pregnancy and birth you want for your child. You'll need to choose a midwife or obstetrician and decide whether you want to birth your baby at home, in a birth center or at a hospital. It is important to decide whether you are willing to take medications or pain relievers during pregnancy and birth, along with your stance on breastfeeding, vaccinations and other important birth and early parenting issues. Sit down with your spouse to write out a pregnancy and birth plan so you can put your ideas and goals and writing to ensure that you are both on the same page.

When You Don't Want to Become Pregnant

If you decide not to have children or that you do not want to become pregnant for a period of time, decisions about whether to use birth control will become paramount. Some people find that hormonal birth control, such as the birth control pill, IUD, ring, patch or shot, is the best way to avoid becoming pregnant. If you decide to go this route, be sure to research the risks associated with the product you want to use, such as ectopic pregnancy, blood clots or difficulty becoming pregnant later.

Other people decide to use barrier methods of birth control, such as condoms or diaphragms, sometimes in combination with chemical spermicidal products. Another option is natural-family planning, which involves charting your basal temperature and avoiding intercourse when your body is displaying signs of fertility.

References

• Finding a Midwife
• Birth Control Options
• Fertility Support