Kinds of Domestic Violence

One of four women have experienced some form of domestic violence in her lifetime, according to the Domestic Violence Resource Center. Domestic violence can happen in all types of relationships and in all social circles. Domestic violence occurs when one partner in a relationship uses abuse to control the other partner. Victims of domestic violence are predominantly women, and men are usually perpetrators. However, a woman can victimize a man.

Physical Abuse

Physical abuse is the most obvious form of domestic violence. Hitting, kicking, shoving or physically subduing your partner constitutes physical abuse. Abusers might attempt to justify physical abuse by blaming the victim. Physically abusing your spouse is a crime, but many victims are afraid to involve law enforcement. The most common fears are embarrassment, lack of evidence and retaliation. If there are children in the home, the victim could be afraid that they will be placed in foster care.

Sexual Abuse

Sexual abuse occurs when one partner forces the other to engage in sexual activity. This is a crime. Nonconsensual sex is rape, even between married people. Even if the sex is consensual, but on a quid pro quo basis, it is a criminal act. In other words, the perpetrator might withhold money, food or other fundamental needs unless you perform sexual acts.

Verbal Abuse

Name calling, berating and brow-beating are forms of verbal abuse. If the victim is afraid to bring his spouse along because his partner might humiliate him verbally, he is a victim of verbal abuse. A victim of verbal abuse will begin to believe, or transform into the words that his partner calls him.

Emotional Abuse

Emotional abuse can be difficult to recognize. An emotionally abusive person obtains control by convincing the victim that she is inferior. This can be done with put-downs, isolating the victim from loved ones, blaming the victim for problems and humiliating the victim if she does not behave according to his standards. An emotional abuser might interfere with your parenting by questioning your skills, undermining your rules, or manipulating the children to seeing you as the inferior parent. Emotional and verbal abuse are not crimes, but it is a cue that you should consider leaving the relationship. Domestic violence has a cyclical nature, and tolerating verbal and emotional abuse can be the catalyst to physical and sexual abuse.

Red Flags of Abuse

An abuser is a master manipulator so it might be difficult to recognize the signals that abusive people put out. The Red Flag Campaign lists some of these signs as history of drug abuse, isolation and possessiveness. The abusive person tends to fall in love too fast and too hard. Arguments with an abusive person are often followed by extensive apologies and begging or threatening you to forgive him. If a person abuses you early in the relationship, it is best to leave quickly. The violence usually progresses from something minor to a problem that could end in injury or even death.

References

• Domesticviolence.org
• The Domestic Violence Resource Center
• National Domestic Violence Hotline

Resources

• The Red Flag Campaign