Angry Outbursts in Children

Nothing can be more frustrating to a parent than trying to deal with a child having an angry outburst. Dealing with frequent angry outburst from children can leave a parent puzzled, distressed and emotionally drained. The first step in successfully dealing with these outbursts is to understand the source of your child's anger.

Accept their Feelings

Instead of trying to suppress this anger, as a parent you must accept the fact that your child is angry. Your job as a parent is to teach your child acceptable ways of dealing with his anger. You must ask yourself why your child is angry and try to get him to share this information with you. Your child's angry feelings cannot be denied. Angry outbursts can be a sign of a serious problem.

Causes

Anger is often a defense to hide "hurt" feelings. An angry outburst can also be associated with sadness or depression. More causes are isolation, low self-esteem or anxiety about a situation over which the child has no control. Sadness and anger are often closely associated, especially in children. What an adult may express as sadness often comes out as anger in children.

Teach Acceptable Behavior

A parent's actions should be motivated by a desire to "reach" and help the child, not by a desire to "punish" the angry outburst. Try teaching your child other ways of dealing with her emotions. Show her by your example what you do when you are feeling angry. Punishment is often not the most appropriate method of communicating with children what we expect of them. Children learn much better by example than by punishment.

Tips for Dealing with Angry Outbursts

Commend your child's behavior when it is good. Children will often respond better to positive reinforcement than to punishment for bad behavior. Try ignoring inappropriate behavior. If a child is having an angry outburst just to get a response from you, he may stop when he sees it is not working. Give your child some physical activities to let off steam such as outdoor play and exercise. If the angry outburst becomes too intense, try removing the child from the situation into a quiet place. This will often diffuse the situation until your child is able to gain some control over her emotions.

Using Discipline

As a parent, you must set limits but also be flexible. If your child understands you have rules and knows what the rules are, she will be more apt to respond to your discipline in a positive way. Put aside your own anger before using discipline. Understand your child's behavior and respond appropriately. Unduly harsh discipline can result in more negative behavior. Discipline should be handled with love and respect for your child and her feelings.

References

• Dealing with the Angry Child
• Dealing With Anger and Children
• Dealing with an Angry Child

Resources

• Basic Parenting Skills
• Guidelines for Parent Child Relationships