Signs of an Alcoholic Parent
It can be confusing and scary to think your mother or father might be an alcoholic. It is important to understand the definition of alcoholism, to know what signs to look for to see if your parent falls into that category and, most importantly, to understand that alcoholism doesn't just affect the person who is drinking, it affects his or her family. Fortunately, there are places you can go to get help.
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What Is Alcoholism?
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Most people who drink alcohol will occasionally drink too much. It is sometimes difficult to know if a person's excessive drinking means he is an alcoholic. Alcoholism is a serious disease that is characterized by drinking so much and so frequently that it interferes with life and relationships. When people drink too much, they get drunk. Unlike most social drinkers, who usually know when to cut themselves off, alcoholics are unable to stop drinking: They are addicted to drinking as much as a smoker is addicted to cigarettes or a drug addict may be addicted to heroin. Alcoholics will often get angry if they are confronted about their drinking, they will drink alone, and they will make excuses in order to drink. Crucially, alcoholics will continue drinking even if it starts to hurt their relationships with their families and affects their ability to do well at their jobs.
An Alcoholic Parent
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It can be extremely hard for a child to have an alcoholic parent. Regardless of the age of the child, families are designed so that the parent takes care of the child, not vice versa, and when a child sees that his or her parent is struggling with alcoholism, the roles become reversed. An alcoholic parent will likely neglect his or her duties, such as forgetting to pick the child up from school or preparing meals for the child, and the alcoholic parent will not be able to provide the emotional support that a child naturally needs in order to grow up with health and self-confidence.
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The Effects on the Child
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The effects of parental alcoholism start before a child is born. When a mother drinks while she is pregnant, the baby drinks too. This is known as fetal alcohol syndrome, or FAS, and it can have devastating results on the baby's health. Babies born with FAS are usually smaller than normal, and they often have facial deformities such as long, flat noses and misshapen skulls. If it is the father who drinks, or the mother's alcoholism starts after the baby is born, the child can still be badly affected.
Children of alcoholics tend to feel like the alcoholism is somehow their fault, and they tend to do poorly in school when compared to their peers. They often are angry and tense because of their situation at home, and this translates into poor behavior and delinquency. Crucially, alcoholism tends to be genetic, meaning that it runs in families, so children with alcoholic parents are at an increased risk for alcoholism themselves.
How to Spot It and Stop It
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An alcoholic parent may be secretive about his or her drinking in order to hide it, but alcoholics are chemically addicted to drinking. This means that when they don't drink, they have withdrawal symptoms--signs that their body is craving alcohol. Alcoholics will be nauseous and anxious when they aren't able to drink, their blood pressure will drop and their bodies may shake.
In order to combat alcoholism, alcoholics need to practice abstinence from drinking, meaning they need to completely stop drinking. Alcoholism can be controlled by intervention, which means loved ones, including children, step in and confront the alcoholic about his or her problem, followed by detoxification, which is the difficult period in which the alcoholic stops drinking completely to let his or her body recover from the addiction. Finally, there is rehabilitation, which is the healing process that includes counseling and support. Groups such as Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) are often very helpful during the detoxification and rehabilitation processes.
You Are Not Alone
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Alcoholism affects a major portion of the American population. Some sources say that as many as 8 percent of all Americans are addicted to drinking. If you think your parent is struggling with alcoholism, remember that you are not alone and that help is out there. The website for Alcoholics Anonymous, www.aa.org, as well as www.alcoholismhelp.com, are two places to go to find resources in your community that can help you and your parent recover from alcoholism.
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