- Children crave routines. It starts with infancy, when babies want to eat, nap and go to bed at set times. Susan Newman, a New Jersey-based social psychologist, said in a KeepKidsHealthy.com article that routines ideally should start in the first days of life, as they set the stage for rocky or smooth sailing as children grow.
- According to the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP), all children require rules to help them learn appropriate behavior. The rules should be reasonable and appropriate for the child's age. Ideally, the rules will provide the boundaries and structure to create a safe realm for learning, exploring and playing. Rules should also be communicated effectively so that they're understood by all.
- There's a common phrase, "Do as I say, not as I do." Children learn from adults' actions as much, if not more, than their words, especially at an early age. If parents want children to speak in a calm voice, they should too. If they don't want their kids to swear, neither should they.
- The AACAP stresses the importance of providing positive reinforcement for good behavior. When children follow rules, the behavior should be acknowledged and supported. The group states that "praise is the most powerful reinforcer of learning."
- The AACAP's position is that consistency and predictability are the cornerstones of discipline. When a child breaks a rule, it's essential that parents follow through with an appropriate consequence, such as a timeout or a loss of privileges. Ideally, the consequence should be one that had previously been discussed with the child.
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The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) provides helpful tips to parents seeking guidance on discipline techniques. These include:
Be aware of your child's abilities and limitations.
Think before you speak, as you'll need to stick to whatever rule or promise you've made.
Be sure you are being realistic, and that it really is necessary to say "no."
Remember that children do what "works," so giving in to a temper tantrum will only cause more.
Pay attention to your child's feelings and try to figure out why he or she is misbehaving.
Learn to see mistakes--including your own--as opportunities to learn, and apologize to your child if you've handled something poorly. - The AAP states that spanking should not be used as a form of punishment; research shows that it is no more effective in changing negative behavior than a timeout. However, unlike timeouts, spanking does negatively impact the child: It can increase a child's anger or aggression. Additionally, children who continue to be spanked are more likely to be depressed and grow up to use alcohol, have more anger, hit their own children, approve of and hit their spouses, and engage in crime and violence. Parents struggling with ways to discipline their children are encouraged to contact their child's pediatrician.
