Etiquette & Forms of Address
The rules of etiquette and forms of address were once very formal among polite society. However, since the latter part of 20th century, etiquette has become much less formal. This informality includes forms of address. However, some rules remain in place, and other rules have developed to take the place of outdated customs.
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General Forms of Address for Women
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Before the latter half of the 20th century, the accepted forms of address for women were Miss and Mrs. This presented a problem when the marital status of a woman was not known. With the invention of the title Ms., this problem was eliminated. Presently, Ms. is the accepted form of address for women, unless the particular woman prefers either Miss or Ms. Therefore, Jane Jones would be Ms. Jane Jones.
Forms of Address for Married Women
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Married women who take their husband's names are traditionally referred to socially as Mrs. John Smith. However, it is also proper to call her Mrs. Jane Smith or Ms. Jane Smith, as she prefers. If a married woman keeps her maiden name, she is called Ms. Jane Jones, just as she was before she married.
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Forms of Address for Divorced and Widowed Women
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Divorced women may choose to retain their married names or revert to their maiden names. It would be proper to refer to a divorced woman as Mrs. Jane Smith, Ms. Jane Smith or Ms. Jane Jones. For a widowed woman, the traditional form of address is Mrs. John Smith, unless she states a preference to be called Mrs. Jane Smith or Ms. Jane Smith, or even Ms. Jane Jones.
Forms of Address for Married Couples
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For a couple where the wife uses the husband's surname, the traditional form of address is Mr. and Mrs. John Smith. However, it is now acceptable to use Mr. John Smith and Mrs. Jane Smith; or Mr. John Smith and Ms. Jane Smith. It is also proper to refer to them informally as John and Jane Smith. It is not proper, however, to use Mr. and Ms. John Smith. The order of the names may also be reversed to place the wife's name first. For a married couple where the wife chooses to keep her maiden name, either name may be used first in a form of address, such as Mr. John Smith and Ms. Jane Jones.
Professional Titles
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When one member of a couple outranks the other professionally, the name of the spouse with the higher rank is used first in a form of address, whether the spouse is the husband or the wife, for example, the Honorable Jane Smith (or Jane Jones) and Mr. John Smith. When either a man or a woman uses an academic title in business, it is used in place of the title Mr., Ms. or Mrs., and follows the surname, for example, Jane Smith, Ph.D.
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