Basics of Effective Communication
Relationships are often full of conflict. Sometimes talking and communicating on a meaningful level is compromised by anger and stress. Learning how to communicate effectively can add a whole new dimension to an otherwise stressful relationship. Take the time to learn how to communicate effectively and improve your relationship quality whether it be with co-workers, family, friends or acquaintances. Keep some of the following tips in mind when trying to communicate effectively.
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Stay Focused
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One of the keys to communicate effectively is to stay focused on the current situation or problem. Bringing up the past and revisiting old hurt and resentments will not move the conversation forward, and will hinder basic communication. Bringing up the past will almost always confuse the current issue, and not help resolve the problem at hand. Stay focused in the present, and address your present feelings, to effectively communicate.
Listening
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Become a good listener. Many people think that they are good listeners, when actually they are too busy thinking about what they will say next. This action prevents them from listening with an empathetic ear. Even though it is difficult, fully listen to what the other person is saying. Try not to interrupt, and don't get defensive. Mirroring back what the other person is saying is an effective way to acknowledge that you have heard him. By doing this, you will understand him better, and he will be more likely to listen to you as well.
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Point of View
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Try to put yourself in the other person's shoes. Try to see their point of view or perspective. When there is conflict, people want to be heard and understood. We often talk about ourselves and our point of view, trying to get the other person to understand. This creates a paradox and prevents us from fully focusing on the other, leaving everyone feeling misunderstood. By trying to appreciate and understand the other side, you may be more able to explain yours. Ask questions to understand the other person's viewpoint. Most people will reciprocate if they feel understood.
Dealing with Criticism
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Dealing with criticism can be difficult when trying to communicate effectively. One of the best things to do is to respond with empathy for the other person. It is important to respond with understanding if the other person is experiencing pain, and not take criticism too personally. It is easy to feel that her opinion is wrong, and try to defend yourself. It is helpful to take a look at the negative criticism and make a note if some of it rings true to your situation. Acknowledge this with mirroring, to make sure you are understanding correctly, and continue to ask questions for more information.
Take Responsibility
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Understand that taking personal responsibility is a sign of strength. Acknowledge when you have made a mistake. Admit when you are wrong. Share responsibility for creating the conflict or stressful situation. This shows strength of character and maturity that moves the situation forward. This encourages the other person to respond in the same way, adding to mutual understanding.
Use the word "I". Instead of accusatory statements, begin your statements with the word "I". This allows the other person to understand your point of view, and you will not seem defensive.
Compromise
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Instead of trying to be the winner in every argument or discussion, look for ways to compromise. This will ensure that everyone has his emotional needs met. There is no right or wrong. Effective communication looks for ways that to ensure that all sides find a resolution they can be happy with.
Touch
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The simple act of touching during conversation can help along effective communication. Try staying connected by maintaining some form of touch during talking, by holding hands or some other form of physical touch. Physical touch often helps to diffuse a tense situation and makes effective communicating more enjoyable.
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