What Are the Benefits of Couples Counseling Before Marriage?

Divorce rates are continuing to climb in the United States and around the world. Perhaps directly due to the increasing failure of the marriage institution, more people are choosing to undergo couples counseling before taking that walk down the aisle. Even with the high divorce rates, marriage hasn't lessened in its popularity. By and large, couples still see marriage as a viable and desirable institution, and many couples would like to explore ways in which they can make sure that "till death do us part" means just that.

Expectations

One of the primary benefits of couple counseling is to make sure both parties are on the same page regarding their future together. Although almost every couple is in love when they decide to get married, surprisingly few couples take the time to really make sure they want the same things out of life. Couples counseling can bring these issues to the forefront. Couples can figure out if they both intend on having children and how many. They can talk about who might work and who might not, and a host of other practical issues. Many couples may be surprised at how disparate their expectations are.

Compatibility

Scientists estimate that the chemical reaction we consider the feelings of "being in love" last approximately two years at the very most. After that, there needs to be a stronger support system in place for your relationship to continue. Couples counseling can make sure that, romance aside, the person you're getting ready to marry is really right for you. For example, do you really like the same things? Do you enjoy talking to each other?

Argument Control

Many couples have very few serious fights before they decide to get married, and many have never lived together. Disagreements will inevitably arise with time, and living together will mean a sense of lost freedom and indeed a bit of "crowded house" syndrome, even if both parties previously lived with roommates. Counseling can help couples learn how to communicate effectively rather than let small arguments and petty disagreements bottle and fester until they become powder kegs.

Religion

If a couple plans to be married within a certain denominational church, couples counseling may be required. This is definitely true of many Catholic churches. If neither feel particularly strong about the issue, religion may not come up often before marriage. However, couples counseling may be a good time to discover if one party or another does have strong feelings on religion, even if they haven't brought them up. Different religious beliefs don't have to be a deal breaker, but they should certainly be addressed.

Goals

Finally, it is important for couples to discuss their goals in life. These goals could be career oriented, retirement oriented or even be more specifically about money and lifestyle. Some people are perfectly content to live a modest lifestyle, without having the best of everything; some people are the exact opposite. It is vital to figure out what both the man and the woman envision as far as how they will live their lives together.

References

• Couples Counseling Before Marriage
• Mayo Clinic Article on Marriage Counseling