Role of the Mother of the Bride

Ideally, the mother of the bride should be able to sit back on the day of the wedding and bask in her daughter's day, fully enjoying herself, with not a worry in the world. Realistically, this probably isn't the way it is going to play out. Being the mother of the bride is a big job and can be stressful if you allow it to be. The bride's mother can, and should, be involved as much as she and the bride desire throughout the entire planning process and on the day of the event. There are some "rules" called etiquette that one can either choose to acknowledge and abide by or ignore. However, the wedding gestapo is not going to sweep in and send you off to bad-etiquette prison if you choose to ignore convention and approach your role as mother of the bride in a way that is different from the norm.

Mothers Need to Behave as do Their Daughters

Unless your daughter specifically says that she doesn't want your help and input, assist her in making plans for the wedding and in picking out her dress, according to Ourmarriage.com. Keep in mind, as hard as this may be for you, that this is your daughter's wedding, not yours. Even if you are footing the bill, you still must be respectful of her tastes and wishes. Paying for the event doesn't mean that you can run the show, as much as you might like to. However, a daughter should be very appreciative and considerate of her parents' financial generosity and not behave like a bridezilla. Not every mother can afford to finance her daughter's wedding, and some may choose not to even if they have the financial means. There is no rule that says mothers and fathers have to foot the bill, so, daughters, be very grateful if your parents are paying for your wedding.

Budget

Take the bull by the horns right in the beginning, and discuss the wedding budget with your daughter. You can include your future son-in-law in this conversation if you so choose. Be specific. Let her know what your financial limits are. Take the initiative and call the groom's mother, according to Cheap-chic-weddings.com. Get acquainted if you don't already know each other. Generally, the bride's mother buys her dress first, but, again, the world isn't going to end if it happens the other way around. The bride's mother, out of courtesy and consideration, should tell the groom's mother what she is wearing, the color of her apparel and the style so that they don't end up clashing.

Lists and More Lists

Help the bride-to-be make out a guest list and order invitations, sooner rather than later. The cost of the affair is going to depend to a great extent on how many people are expected to be in attendance. If the bride's family has invited out-of-town guests to the wedding, making reservations for the accommodations is the responsibility of the bride's mother.

Written Instructions for Participants

Make sure that those who need to know are in the know and have written instructions precisely outlining who does what during the wedding ceremony and who sits where during the reception. As the bride's mother, you are acting as her advocate and making sure that her wishes come to fruition. If you cannot handle all that is tossed at you, consider hiring a professional wedding consultant to help you or ask a friend to assist you.

Communication

Keep in touch with the maid or matron of honor, who has certain responsibilities. If there is frequent communication between the bride, the mother of the bride and the maid of honor, this should prevent misunderstandings and oversights.

The Hostess With the Mostest

The mother of the bride is considered the hostess of this (hopefully) glorious event and should be treated accordingly.

Resources

• Wedding.theknot.com
• Blisstree.com