About Destination Weddings
"Destination weddings" are weddings that take place outside the bride and groom's home area. They often involve international travel (most commonly to the Caribbean or other tropical destinations), but can also take place in different parts of the wedding couple's home country.
Because of logistics, distance and complexity, destination weddings often require different planning techniques and etiquette protocols than domestic weddings.
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Should You Have One?
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Destination weddings aren't for everyone. Before you start planning, take some time to think about a few factors.
First, destination weddings are generally smaller than local weddings; when guests must take time off work and purchase airline tickets, the number of guests who can attend is much smaller. This can be a plus if you prefer a smaller wedding, if you would rather just have close family and friends present, or if you don't do well with crowds. On the other hand, destination weddings can ensure that some of the people who are important to you might not be able to attend (after all, do you really expect your 95-year-old grandma to fly to Nepal?) and that some people feel left out.
Destination weddings also have different costs associated with them, and it's important to talk about these costs with your significant other. If you plan on taking an out-of-town vacation for your honeymoon, a destination wedding might actually save you some money; packaged deals are offered at many resorts across the globe, and often these packages provide net savings on both wedding locations and honeymoon accommodations. However, the prices of the packages themselves, even if they combine more expensive items into a cheaper deal, can be significantly higher than what you could spend at home by being sensible and resourceful. Also, while your total costs might be lower, the costs for your wedding party and guests will be higher, since now they will have to purchase tickets and hotel rooms instead of just showing up.
Lastly, your planning style can be affected. Destination wedding packages often offer multiple services (cake, catering, DJ, even a wedding planner) for a flat rate, which can seriously cut down on your own planning work. However, if you're detail-oriented (or if you just don't want a package), planning a wedding from an entirely different city or continent can be a communications challenge.
Planning a Destination Wedding
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When planning a destination wedding, timing is key. You need to give guests enough time to figure out their travel plans (and ask for time off from work, if necessary). You might want to ask the people who are most important to you (your parents, for example, or your maid of honor) what days/months are best for them. That way, you won't have as many scheduling woes when you set your date.
Start planning EARLY. Unlike a domestic wedding (which can be thrown together fairly easily and simply in a short amount of time), a destination wedding requires that you do a lot of research and leave yourself plenty of time. Find a site, visit it (if possible), and find out about travel deals or group discounts on hotels and airfare. Make sure you know the marriage requirements for the city, state or country you'll be visiting --- every place is different!
To help your guests schedule their time, send out save-the-date cards six months before the event. These cards, which communicate the day, time and location of the wedding, are sent out before --- not instead of --- the official wedding invitations. Make sure to include travel and lodging information (including any group discount offers) either with the save-the-dates, the invitations, or in a separate form (such as a wedding web site or guest packet). -
Destination Wedding Etiquette For Brides/Grooms
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Destination brides and grooms must follow many of the same etiquette concerns as domestic-wedding couples. Write thank you notes for all gifts (no verbal substitutions!), invite all "plus ones" by name on an invitation (don't just write "and guest" --- if you don't know the name of someone's girlfriend or fiance, call and find out), and of course, always be kind, calm, and courteous!
However, with a destination wedding, there are a few added etiquette rules. You're not required, of course, to pay for your guests' travel and hotel accommodations --- traditionally, they pay for these things themselves. However, many brides and grooms agree that this can make things difficult for their guests, so they choose to pay for some of the expenses. If you're not comfortable with this option, consider requesting (by word-of-mouth) that guests refrain from sending wedding gifts.
If you're having a very small, intimate wedding and would like to include more people back home, it is acceptable to have a party or reception in your hometown in addition to your post-ceremony reception. However, please do not repeat or "re-enact" the ceremony a second time --- that should be a one time deal. In fact, some religions might actually find this offensive, so please refrain.
Also, if you're traveling to a foreign country, take some time to familiarize yourself with local customs and traditions. Just because you're a guest in this country doesn't mean you get to be rude or offensive, even if it's accidental.
Destination Wedding Etiquette For Guests
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Like the wedding couples, guests must also adhere to basic wedding etiquette. That means one must abide by the couple's rules (if they said no children, that means no children), refrain from bringing uninvited guests, and act civilly and politely to everyone present.
At destination weddings, however, it is even more important to follow that age-old etiquette suggestion that gifts NOT be brought to the wedding. If you want to give the couple a gift, send it to them at their home address. Traditionally, gifts are not brought to a wedding because it puts the bride and groom --- or more usually, their wedding party --- in the position of having to keep an eye on the gifts all night. This guideline is even more important at destination weddings, because bringing gifts to the wedding means that the bride and groom will have to cart all of the gifts back home --- and maybe even send them through customs.
Popular Destinations
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Previously, the most popular locales for destination weddings have been tropical ones. Mexico, Jamaica, the Dominican Republic and the Bahamas are all very popular; they provide settings for beachfront weddings (which have been very fashionable in recent years) and can be wonderful places for a honeymoon.
However, more and more brides and grooms are choosing to do destination weddings within the United States. Las Vegas is a popular option for fun-loving, party-going couples, and New York City remains very welcoming to couples looking for flair and sophistication.
European countries are also fast becoming popular destination locations, particularly Ireland, the United Kingdom and France.
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