Signs of a Verbally Abusive Person
Verbal abuse is an insidious form of abuse. It does not leave marks like physical abuse, but it can still cause depression, loss of self-esteem, a sense of isolation and family dysfunction. Verbal abuse can sometimes lead to physical abuse as well. Verbal abuse includes name calling, putting down a person's abilities or nature, threats, belittling a person's feelings, blaming the other person for one's feelings and unpredictable reactions.
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History
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A verbally abusive person often has a history of discipline problems and violent behavior. He or she may have a police record, a disciplinary record or a history of being fired from a lot of jobs.
Characteristics
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A verbally abusive person is more likely to abuse alcohol and/or drugs. He tends to make jokes at other people's expense, to call people names and to have trouble controlling his emotions, especially anger.
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Significance
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Verbally abusive people destroy their partners' self-esteem. They trivialize their partners' feelings and perceptions, insult their partners and manipulate and try to control their partners. Verbal abuse increases in variety, frequency and intensity as time goes on. Verbally abusive people are more likely to become physically and sexually abusive as well.
Features
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When communicating with their partners, verbal abusers:
Have unpredictable outbursts.
Threaten partners to control them.
Make derogatory jokes about their partners.
Isolate their partners from friends and family.
Counter much of what their partners say and do.
Divert discussion or withhold information to block the resolution of conflicts.
And give orders instead of making requests.
Misconceptions
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Many abusers are quite charming in public. They may treat their partners well in front of others or seem to be nice enough. In private, however, they are cruel, uncaring or manipulative. Those outside of the relationship may not realize that the abuser is abusive, which may make it even more difficult for the partner to see the abuse.
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