What Is a Verbally Abusive Relationship?

At first glance, verbal abuse may seem simple. However, verbal abuse can be debilitating for the victims due to the abuser stripping the victim of her self-esteem and confidence while isolating her from all outside resources. Usually it happens over a long period of time, and the person is sucked into an unhealthy relationship before she understands what happened. The cyclical pattern of abuse is hard to break for the victim and the abuser.

The Basics

Verbal abuse is one way for someone to control another person through fear and humiliation. Verbal abuse is an emotional form of abuse as opposed to a physical form of abuse. According to the counseling center at University of Illinois, verbal abuse decreases your self-worth, self-confidence and self-esteem and can make significant lasting impressions on you.

Types

According to HELPGUIDE.org, there are six types of abuse:
1. Dominance: An abuser wants to be in control and will expect the person that he is abusing to always listen and obey.
2. Humiliation: An abuser seeks power and control by humiliating his partner. He can gain control of the situation by decreasing his partner's self-confidence.
3. Isolation: If your spouse begins to keep you from seeing friends and family, she may be attempting to isolate you from your support system.
4. Threats: A person can be verbally abused with threats. If your spouse makes threats to take your children away or hurt you physically, that can become debilitating.
5. Intimidation: If you're partner breaks objects in front of you or kicks your dog, he is trying to intimidate you into submission.
6. Denial and blame: If you're being verbally abused, every mistake is your fault. Does your partner always blame you for issues? This can lead to a lack of self-confidence.

Signs of Verbal Abuse

Do you think that you know someone in a verbally abusive relationship or do you think that you might be in one? Here are ten signs you're being verbally abused:
1. Your partner belittles you by calling you names.
2. You feel like you're always walking on eggshells around your partner.
3. You're afraid of your partner and her anger.
4. Your partner threatens to hurt or take away your pets or children.
5. Your partner threatens to commit suicide if you leave him.
6. You feel like you never do anything right.
7. You're embarrassed by the way that your partner treats you.
8. Your partner never considers your feelings or opinion.
9. Your partner seems overly jealous.
10. Your partner does not allow you to spend time with or talk to your friends or family.

Cycle of Violence

The cycle of violence occurs when people are in verbally or physically abusive relationships. The first phase in the cycle of violence is the tension-building period where the person being abused feels like his partner may get angry at any time and become abusive. The second phase is the verbal and/or physical abuse. The third phase is considered the honeymoon phase which occurs when the abuser apologizes and promises that it won't happen again. This cycle repeats in abusive relationships.

Getting Help

There are two ways that someone in an abusive relationship can help herself:
She can educate herself about verbally abusive relationships, and she can seek help from a therapist, who can help her understand the relationship and assist her in determining how she can better care for herself.