What Is Relationship Abuse?

Relationship abuse occurs when you are being harmed by your partner. The abuse can be emotional, sexual, financial or physical.
If you think you, or someone you know, may be an abusive relationship it is important to take the necessary precautions to get help and/or leave the relationship.

Cycle of Relationship Abuse

An abusive relationship often repeats a cycle including the following stages:
* Abuse: The abuser sexually, physically, financially or emotionally victimizes his partner.
* Guilt: The abuser may often feel guilt. This could be because of possible ramifications he/she may fear facing and not merely guilt over his/her actions.
* Rationalization: The abuser will rationalize his/her actions, and in doing so may end up blaming the victim as an excuse for why he was abusive.
* Normalcy: The abuser wants to remain in the relationship, and may apologize, ignore past behavior and/or claim to have changed.
* Fantasy and planning: The abuser starts fantasizing about hurting his victim and planning how to actualize his plans.
* Set-up: The abuser creates a situation where he can justify harming his victim.

Recognizing Abuse

If two or more of the following conditions are true, you should seek professional assistance to ascertain if the relationship is abusive:
* You think that being in a relationship means having no desires of your own.
* You are sometimes frightened by your partner's behavior or attitudes.
* Your partner constantly criticizes your behavior.
* Your partner calls you humiliating nicknames.
* Your partner makes constant accusations against you.
* Your partner prevents you from seeing family and friends freely.
* Your partner threatens you.
* Your partner forces you to have sexual relations with him.
* Your partner hits you or throws things at you.
* Your partner is jealous and says that you belong to him.
* Your partner controls your money and gives you only a limited amount.

Reasons for Staying in the Relationship

It is important to remember that it is not the victim's fault for being in an abusive relationship. Abuse can happen to anyone. Some reasons you may be in an abusive relationship include:
* You believe your partner when he repeatedly apologizes and claims to change.
* You feel dependent on him.
* You are scared of loneliness without him.
* You fear that your partner will hurt you if you leave.
* You are afraid you won't be able to provide for yourself financially.
* You are scared of revealing this secret.
* You don't believe anyone can help you.

Who Can Become a Victim

Anybody can become a victim of relationship abuse. There is no specific gender, intelligence level, class or race who is immune from abuse.
It is the abuser's fault, not the victim's.

Getting Help

Immediately call 911 or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at
[phone] if you, or someone you know, may be in danger.

Resources

• Read this Article in Spanish
• Center for Relationship Abuse Awareness