Define Contested Divorce

Your marriage is over and you want a divorce. Someone asks,"Is your spouse contesting the divorce?" When your spouse does not want the divorce or does not agree to the terms of your divorce your answer to the question is "yes."

Filing a Divorce Petition That Becomes Contested

You or your spouse files a petition for divorce. The law requires the petitioner to serve the other partner in the marriage with divorce papers by mail, a sheriff or a third party. It is with the action of serving the petition to your spouse or your spouse serving you that the divorce can be contested or stipulations of division of accrued assets or debts, or spouse and child support or child custody can be contested. This is the beginnings of a contested divorce.

What Happens When the Petition for Divorce is Contested

Your divorce is contested by your spouse or you want to contest your spouse's request for a divorce. You have 30 days from when the papers are served to respond to the divorce petition if you are the one served. Contesting the divorce or any part of the stipulations in the decree affecting assets, alimony, child custody and support is legally done so in the 30 days.

The Emotional and Financial Drain of Contested Divorces

If your spouse or you contest your divorce, prepare for an exhaustive emotional and financial drain. The more issues your spouse or you contest about your divorce, the more complex the divorce becomes and the longer it takes. Every issue contested--the division of your acquired assets, whether you or your spouse takes over specific debts, is there alimony and how much, child support, or the custody of children--adds time and money to the process.

Lawyers must be paid to be arbitrators for your spouse and you toward settling any disagreement affecting your contested divorce. This is both your spouse's and your open door to added financial drain with the out-of-pocket costs to your lawyers and further court filings. The emotional cost of your contested drawn-out divorce is as detrimental to your emotional health as the financial cost.

The Court Decides in a Contested Divorce

When all avenues to resolve the contested issues are spent, then your divorce becomes the burden of the court to decide how these issues are resolved. Instead of your spouse and you deciding how to divide the marriage assets or make decisions about alimony or child custody and support, the decision falls on the judge assigned to the case. When your divorce is fully contested, your future is in the control of the legal system.

What Is the Best Way to Avoid a Contested Divorce

Your spouse and you can avoid the emotional and financial drain of a contested divorce by working out an agreeable solution to the division of your acquired assets during the marriage, agreeing which of you will pay what debts you have accumulated and if and how much alimony is paid. Contesting the custody of the children is an unwanted emotional trauma for the children as well as you. Working out shared custody and the financial support of the children between your spouse and you is best for everyone. Settling all aspects of your divorce out of court assures you avoid the burden of time, money and the emotional drain that a contested divorce costs. Settling a divorce out of court is the best way to avoid a contested divorce.