About Successful Marriages

Whoever said marriage is a two way street got it right. The key to any successful marriage is the ability for the couple to work together towards common goals. Working together means compromise, tolerance and respect. The key component in all of that is love. Building upon a foundation of love will insure success. Yet, too often the person we love the most is the same person who is taken for granted. Recognizing and overcoming that aspect of your relationship will go a long way towards strengthening the bonds of your marriage.

Communication

Keeping the lines of communications flowing in a marriage is essential to success. This doesn't mean you need to share every waking moment and feeling with your partner. But when you are engaged in a meaningful conversation, be fully present. Don't try to make your point at the expense of listening to your spouse. If your mind is already made up then you might as well have a rhetorical conversation. The best communicators are also the best listeners.

Give and Take

Every successful marriage requires a level of give and take. Don't sweat the small stuff like where to eat or what movie to go to. Take turns picking those. For the bigger discussions such as where to live or how to raise your children, you can't have a one-sided approach. Compromise doesn't mean giving up what you firmly believe in. It means adapting the opposing aspects of your partner's ideas to build upon your own. Any decision that is mutually agreed upon will be a lasting one.

Make the Time

Unlike a plant, you can't merely add water to a marriage and hope it grows. You have to make the time to nurture your relationship. If your spouse feels neglected, there may be a good reason. Are you spending too much time at work? Too much time with friends? Although earning a living and hanging out with friends is important it all comes down to a matter of balance. Always strive to make your spouse's needs a priority. If they know that as certain then those other aspects of your life will fall into their proper place.

Date Night

Setting aside a specific date night is another way of achieving success in your marriage. This is the one night that is just for the two of you. No kids, no pets, no projects. Date night can be as simple as dinner at her favorite restaurant or a ball game cheering on his team. After being together for years, a couple might think they have run out of ideas for date night. It's not so much what you do together as it is the mere fact that you are taking the time to be together.

Vacation

Another option for building a successful marriage to take a vacation. Too often you can get caught up in the daily grind and forget how important a restful holiday can be. Perhaps you can opt for a weekend getaway driving to a nearby bed and breakfast. Or maybe the adventure of a cruise. Half the fun can be in planning your trip. Think about exploring new destinations and cultures. Building these kinds of memories is a positive action for any marriage.

Surprises

It's amazing how far a bouquet of flowers will go towards brightening your wife's day. How about giving your husband a copy of the latest action flick DVD? After presenting a spontaneous gift inevitably you'll be asked what it's for? Telling your spouse that it's just because you love him is the perfect response. And it doesn't always have to be a gift. Try leaving your job early to cook dinner before she gets home. Take the kids out for a play date and let him have the place to himself for a couple of hours. One surprise a week is a great success builder.

Work It

The word work often conjures up a sense of drudgery and routine. Nobody really wants to work at anything; they just want it to happen. A successful marriage is going to take work. But this kind of work is about going out on dates, coming up with surprises, planning vacations and taking the time to listen. When you consider the benefits of a successful marriage, it really isn't work at all.

Resources

• Review date Night ideas from Redbook
• Plan an inexpensive vacation
• Surprise your spouse with flowers