About Loveless Marriages

In most marriage vows there's a lovely line that says "til death do us part," which could be a long time. People usually mean their vows when they get married, and take them very literally. So as couples grow and change, how do they manage the marriage when the love dies?
A loveless marriage sounds cold and lonely, but in reality there are many loveless marriages where the couple have respect and appreciation for each other and things run smoothly.
It is not easy to face the fact that you are married to someone who doesn't love you, and whom you don't love; it takes a special couple to make a loveless marriage work for whatever reason.

Reasons People Stay in a Loveless Marriage

There are many reasons why people stay together, even when they are no longer in love with each other.
The most common reason is for the children they share. They believe that their children deserve to live with both of their parents and not go through the trauma of a divorce, so they live together amiably until the children leave home.
Financial reasons are another excuse. Each person individually can't afford the house payment and all the bills, the other person can't afford to maintain another home and pay child support, and other financial situations lead the couple to stay in the same household even when they don't love each other.
Religion is a less common reason, but still a reason for many couples. Some devoutly religious people believe that divorce is a sin and their church frowns upon the breaking of the wedding vows, and for those reasons they choose to stay together without the benefit of love.

Loveless-Marriage Arrangements

Once a couple realizes that this is the state of their marriage yet they decide to stay together for whatever reason, they need to set the ground rules.
The couple will need to address whether to tell family and friends the situation, or continue to maintain the facade of a good marriage.
The issue of extramarital activities will have to be taken into consideration. This will also lead to the setting of discretion rules as to the children and the home that is shared.
Financial responsibilities will have to be discussed as well.
If the couple can get along and agree upon the basic rules, then a loveless marriage can continue without undue stress and strife.

When to Get Out of a Loveless Marriage

Despite the best intentions or financial difficulties, there are times when a couple should definitely look into separating.
If there is violence in the home or if the couple has tried to have a successful arrangement that isn't working out, it is time to call it quits. There is no need to stay in a loveless marriage if it doesn't work for both parties.

Successful Arrangements

There are many couples who have enough respect for each other and their children to maintain a loveless marriage, and even remain cordial and friendly. After all, they once loved each other enough to commit to living their lives as one; so even though they have each grown and changed over time, they still care for each other and can cohabit easily.

Benefits of a Loveless Marriage Over Divorce

There are benefits to having a loveless marriage arrangement, the main one being of course the lack of lifestyle disruption. The financial security for both parties is also a benefit, as well as presenting the image of a complete family for the children involved.
Also, once the matter is faced and arrangements are made, there will be a drop in the tension and arguing in the home. There will be no more jealousy, insecurity or hard feelings over imagined slights.
While this solution isn't for every couple, it is something worth looking into if you are facing a marriage where the love has died and you don't want to get a divorce.