About Teenager Rebellion

If you're completely at a loss on how to curb your teenager's rebellion, take heart, you're not alone. Whether it's refusing to take the dog for a walk or sneaking out of the home for a late-night party, at one time or another all teenagers will rebel in some degree. If you're in the midst of dealing with a rebellious teenager, here are some things that you need to know.

History

Teenage rebellion has been around for hundreds of years, in fact, in a paper written by Dr. Scott J. Larson, president of the Massachusetts based juvenile program Straight Ahead Ministries, he cites an interesting quote from Socrates. The quote referred to youth as having bad manners and no regard for the elderly, a contempt for authority who tyrannized their teachers and contradicted their mothers and fathers. While this description may sound like a teenager in your home, Socrates wrote this in the third century B.C.E. But teenage rebellion goes back even further. The Book of Genesis, written between 1450 and 1410 B.C.E. tells the story of Esau and Jacob. Jacob lied to his father and rebelled to steal his brother's birthright (see Resources below).

Types

Teenagers can rebel in many different ways, active and passive. Teenagers can blatantly disrespect their parents by outwardly behaving in an unacceptable way or by passively ignoring the standards of acceptable behavior that their parents have set for them. Teenagers may rebel against their parent's rules, religious beliefs or moral code. Teenagers may also rebel against others in authority such as teachers, principals and even law enforcement officials. They may choose to show disrespect for these individuals and for their rules. For example, a teen may refuse to adhere to a school dress code or the legal drinking age and may show complete disrespect to the person in authority who addresses the issue.

Function

According to the eight stages of development created by psychologist Erik Erickson in 1956, teenage rebellion is a normal stage of development that occurs during the fifth stage of development between the ages of 14 and 20 (see Resources below). As a child begins to really explore who they are they test boundaries, take risks and experiment with behavior.

Prevention/Solution

As children grow, their need for independence and self-sufficiency grows, too. When it comes to teenage rebellion, it's an area where you need to pick your battles. Since you can expect your teenager to rebel, allow them to rebel in areas that aren't that important to you. I think most parents would agree they'd rather have their teen rebel against doing chores than the family's code against drug use (see Resources below).

Considerations

Your teen needs to learn how to make good decisions, and sometimes that can mean learning from the natural consequences that stem from rebellion. For example, if your teen doesn't do his homework, he's going to reap the consequences of that in class. His grades are going to slip, he may get detention and he may lose the privilege of participating in extracurricular activities.

Resources

• Dr. Larson's Paper on Teenage Rebellion
• Erik Erickson's Stages of Development