About Condolence Letters
Condolence letters are sent to friends, family and loved ones when they have experienced a loss. Condolence cards express sympathy and empathy . Letters are usually concise, full of words of love and care and including the offer of help wherever it is needed.
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Significance
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Condolence letters can mean a lot to family members and some can even help the healing process.
Condolence letters always express sorrow for the loss. If it is from someone close to the one who passed away, they often contain personal stories, things that the deceased one said about the recipient and special memories--even funny ones--of the deceased.
A condolence letter is especially potent if it offers specific ways that the sender intends to help the one experiencing the loss. While most offer help "if you need anything," someone grieving doesn't often have the presence of mind or courage to actually come up with specifics that she needs help with. By letting her know that you understand this by offering specifics to help--like watching the kids or accompanying her to making funeral decision--will show how much effort and care you are putting into helping her to deal.
Types
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Condolence cards can take many forms. You can find several in grocery stores, general stores, drug stores and stationary stores under the "Sympathy" heading. You can also find more choices in specialty card stores like Hallmark. You could, instead, buy a blank card, and use all the space inside to express your condolence in your own words. A scene of serenity--or a card that calls upon something the deceased truly loved--works great here. Condolence letters are almost always written in a card.
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Misconceptions
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Condolence letters aren't only for a death of a person. When someone loses a beloved pet, he is often losing a family member. A pet can embed itself deeply into the heart of its owner. When a loved one loses a pet that is especially important to him, it's appropriate to send a condolence letter in that case. Few will do so, and it will likely be much needed. It can touch his heart, cheer him up and help him heal. It can even strengthen your relationship as he acknowledges and realizes your thoughtfulness.
Benefits
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A condolence card can help the one who gives it and the one who receives it. In offering clear help to the suffering individual, the sender feels a sense of helpfulness in light of the tragic reality that a loss imposes on someone. The sender can also purge her memories in a letter, allowing her to feel closer to the lost loved one as well. The receiver has a tangible keepsake of the care, comfort and support she received in time of deep crisis. If one is having a particularly bad day on the road to recovery, she will be able to pull out the card and reread it.
Warning
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Condolence letters should not be sent in place of a personal visit, food contributed at a wake in someone's home (or to help the family avoid cooking after a tragedy) or flowers sent to a funeral. Condolence letters should be sent shortly after a death, but they needn't be sent right away. While receiving one months down the line may be a painful reminder, the truth is that a great loss is usually not far from someone's mind for quite some time. Knowing that they are cared about--and that you took the time to let them know how much care--will usually cheer someone up. Even if you hear the news belatedly, a condolence letter should still be written when someone you care about has lost a loved one. It's better late than never.
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