About Gay Lesbian Lifestyle

Dan Martinez is a father of two adopted, well adjusted children - a boy and a girl, both in middle school. He pays his taxes accurately and on time. He has had an occasional speeding ticket, but always paid them on time. He and his beloved, Kelly (to whom he has always been faithful) live in a 4 bedroom house in the suburbs, drive a mini-van and an SUV. They own a boat and an RV. Dan works as an insurance adjuster and Kelly owns a flower shop. Their kids wear a lot of the latest fashions, but they also volunteer as a family at the local food kitchen, and they give 10% of their total family income to the United Way. Neither Dan nor Kelly takes drugs or drinks excessively. Their children get great grades, don't do drugs, and have a number of long term friendships. Their son has a long time girlfriend. Their daughter just broke up with guy number seven. Their parents are pretty sure neither kid is sexually active. In any case, they have been told and retold by their parents about the benefits of abstinence. They have a dog and two cats and they take a family vacation for two weeks each summer.

Overall, they live a middle class lifestyle. However, a lot of the people in their neighborhood claim to be disgusted by their lifestyle. You see, Dan and Kelly are two gay men joined together in a civil union. The state won't let them marry, despite 27 years of a committed, loving relationship.

Considerations

Their "lifestyle" seems fine until you know they are men. The fact is that all too many Americans have a misconception of the "gay" or "homosexual" lifestyle. There simply is no such thing. Gays are promiscuous and completely faithful, effeminate and masculine, funny and serious, intelligent and stupid, republican and democrat, law abiding and criminal, tax payers and responsibility shirkers. Gay people are committed workers, and lazy go-nowheres. They drive Hummers and Hondas, mopeds and the city bus. They are in great shape and fat. They are healthy and sick. They use protection during sex and they can't be bothered to. They are kind and cruel. They sing well and can't carry a tune in a bucket. They hire out their yard work and they do it themselves. They recycle and they waste. They make great friends and they are too selfish to spend time with. They are honest and they lie through their teeth. They have great fashion sense and they need to be submitted to the show "What Not to Wear." They are proud to be gay and they hide it from everyone. Homosexuals are just like heterosexuals except for one thing: they prefer sex with members of their same sex.

Misconceptions

Sexual preference is the only determinant of whether or not a person is gay. Stereotypes have no place in reality. Not all gay men are "swishy" and not all lesbians own Birkenstocks. Everyone has their own preferences, and no one is beholden to act any certain way in order to qualify as gay, with the sexual activity preference being the only exception. Shy doesn't equal gay. Neither does effeminacy. Flamboyance does not equate to gay, and an interest in fashion, makeup, dancing, or even cross dressing does not have any bearing when it comes to determining the sexual preference of a human being.

Potential

Understanding that sexual preference has nothing to do with lifestyle and everything to do with sex is important if homosexuals and heterosexuals are ever going to find peace with each other.

Prevention/Solution

When you hear someone describing the gay lifestyle, you can do your part. Accepting people's lifestyles has little do do with your feelings on the morality of their sexual choices. Do your part by keeping the arguments pertinent. Make the argument about morality instead of lifetstyle. Find the common ground.

Expert Insight

Next time you are faced with the words "gay lifestyle" keep in mind there is no such thing. The things that make us all the same far outweigh the things that make us unique. May you find companions with respectable lifestyles and similar interest, giving little concern to those differences that have nothing to do with lifestyle or interest.