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Long-distance relationships can thrive better if a relationship is established before it becomes a long-distance situation. For example, if a couple dated throughout college but continue their relationship as they attend graduate programs in different states, the distance can be easier to deal with. The couple know each other well by this point and should have already established a trust between them.
However, couples who start their relationships by long distance can face different challenges. For example, a couple who meet on a trip but who live in different states are still getting to know each other and have less time together to build a foundation. This situation is not impossible, though, if both are committed to making it work.
Because having a long-distance relationship removes the comfort of being able to see your partner whenever you want, to spend time together and be intimate, it is important that both of you make as much time as possible to visit each other. Put the cost of travel to see your beau into your monthly budget and make a schedule. If both parties prepare, it is possible to see each other once a week, with each party visiting the other, every other weekend.
It is important in a long-distance relationship not to put all of the responsibility on one person. It can cause a lot of stress and resentment if one person in the couple is expected to always visit the other, and the other person never makes an effort to visit the other. -
When a long-distance couple do not trust each other, this can lead to the demise of the relationship. Trust is key when you can't see your partner every day and be intimate when you want to. Therefore, it is absolutely necessary to be honest with each other and open-minded. Talk to each other often about how you feel about the relationship, establish boundaries and let your partner know your expectations of the relationship. Being open and honest can prevent misunderstandings and will help build a foundation.
As you establish boundaries, talk about whether it will be an open relationship, a committed, monogamous relationship, or whether the two of you will be able to date other people. As you both build friendships with those of the opposite sex, let your partner know so that there aren't any questions down the line about the nature of the relationship.
Distance, naturally, is the biggest risk factor in the relationship, so the more often you can see each other, the better. When you can't see each other in person, be sure to talk on the phone or communicate through other means. Keep each other involved in what's going on in the other's life. Make your partner feel comfortable, loved and a part of your life. - Long-distance relationships cannot last forever, so there will be a point when one of the people in the relationship will have to move to the same city that the other person is in--especially if the relationship gets serious and both parties are starting to think about marraige. As the relationship gets serious, start to talk about these things. Each party will need to weigh what it will mean to leave everything behind and move to the other person's city. Each party should discuss what that will mean to each other's career, and who will benefit the most or lose the least in a move.
- If each person within a long-distance relationship is willing to make an effort to make it work, build a foundation, trust each other and consider one day moving to the city where the other one lives, the relationship can be successful. In the end, each party must decide whether or not all of the effort is worth it, and whether the parnter can become a permanent one. Despite common misconceptions, these types of relationships do work. They just take more effort than a relationship in which both parties live in the same city.
- The Center for the Study of Long-Distance Relationships advises that couples who are in such relationships should be clear about their expectations in the beginning. They should also express themselves and make their partner feel loved; spice up the sexual relationship when seeing each other; and stay positive about the relationship.
